In Touch: An Exploration Of Female Sexuality

In Touch: An Exploration Of Female Sexuality

You’re astounded by how unfamiliar you feel with your own body and your own sexuality; how you are convinced that if you only inhabited some other body – everything would be just perfect.

Well, let me share with you a little secret – you are not alone.

The plain truth is most women know more about their clothes than their own bodies. Women know the style, fabric, designer, and fit. Women buy clothing that they feel good in when trying them on or at least the clothes they believe will be appropriate for a particular event or situation. Look, I’m the very last person to reduce the importance of clothes and designers, but don’t you think now is the time for you to become more knowledgeable and comfortable with your own body and your sexuality?

To paraphrase an old saying, as goes your knowledge and the embracement of your body, so too goes your sexuality.

So, just for the time being, let’s agree to leave the clothing in the closet. Let’s agree to focus on satisfaction and fulfillment. Your satisfaction and fulfillment.

On your terms.

With your body.

It doesn’t matter if you’ve always felt uncomfortable talking about (whisper) sex and sexuality. It doesn’t matter if you have always blushed when you so much as read the word “masturbation.” It doesn’t matter if you have never had the nerve to search for your G-spot, or the courage to ask your partner to do something “special.”

You will.

So, here’s my promise: We’re going to honestly talk about sex and your sexuality, about your body and your satisfaction, in a straightforward way that will be informative and fun. Okay? Okay.

So breathe. That’s right, breathe.

I want you to relax. I keep reminding you to relax because talking intimately about sex and your body and your enjoyment of sex can be uncomfortable, if not awkward and intimidating. I know that. But it’s just us. You and me. We’re in this together.

Most women feel a little uncomfortable with their sexuality because of their religious background, upbringing or their personal sexual and sensual experiences. Oftentimes, they are uncomfortable thinking of themselves in a sexual way because they feel dissatisfied with their bodies.

Does that sound familiar?

Well, let me let you in on another secret – just about every woman feels uncomfortable with her own body (yes, even those women in the magazines by the checkout counter.) Whether it’s her skin, her nose, her eyes, her breasts, her stomach, her hips, butt, legs, or her stretch marks… whatever. Ask just about any woman in the world about what’s wrong with her body and she will deliver you a long list of her “flaws.”

So, along with leaving the clothes in the closet, we’re calling a moratorium on you thinking that your body is flawed. In any way. While we are together, you are a goddess. Pure and simple.

Try luxuriating in that thought for a moment. Nice, isn’t it?

My thinking is, if every woman feels she has these flaws, then maybe they are not flaws at all. Having a poor body image of yourself is so universal as to be “normal” – which, I’m sure you’ll agree if you were to give it some thought, it is a little weird. How can it be “normal” to think that there’s something “wrong” with your body when “wrong” supposedly means “not-normal”. So the first thing we’re going to do is dispense with the not-very-useful and probably downright damaging idea of “normal.”

Over time, too many of us have been made to feel that our bodies are unnatural, our sexuality is secretive and our desires and passions are shameful and should be repressed. After all, a good girl wouldn’t want to do that!

Wanna bet?

Our sexuality and sexual expression has no natural limit – nor should it as long as it is not hurtful to us or anyone else. Whether masturbatory, same-sex, heterosexual, multiple partners or a full spectrum of game-playing, fantasy, positions or practices, sex and sexuality is natural. Sex is who we are. Sex is what we do.

And sex is good.

Everyone is sexual. Everyone has sexuality. However, because of what I call the ignorance or cruelty of our cultural dynamic, women have received the message that it’s not “good” to be sexual; in fact, the message has often been that it might even be detrimental. As if sex could really be bad for you! Sure, you must protect yourself from disease. What I mean is completely sexual activity is natural and shouldn’t be repressed. Sadly, the message has been powerfully effective. Women suppress sexual desires and sexual experimentation in fear of what men will think of them if they are too sexual. After all, our “virtue” is the foundation upon which all of Western civilization is built.

That’s quite a burden to carry but, while our “virtue” might be important to society and culture, there is no natural contradiction between virtue and sexuality. Some of the most wonderful, happy and kind people I know are very sexual and sexually fulfilled – some in monogamous, heterosexual relationships, some in homosexual relationships and some single, free, and “out there”. They are living the sexual lives filled with virtues of self and others while sharing their sexuality with their partner.

If you’ve ever wondered why it can be so hard to simply let go and allow yourself to embrace the deepness of your own sexuality, it’s probably because you’re weighted down with the burden of carrying around those thousands of years of Western civilization. So, let go of the burden of lugging Western civilization on your poor, tired shoulders for a few moments, and get in touch with your sexuality. And don’t for even a second think you don’t have any sexuality to get in touch with. You’ve got it all right, just like everyone else. It is just a question of discovering it, exploring it, coming to terms (your terms) with it and incorporating it in your life to maximize your happiness and well-being.

Does that seem like such a threat to life as we know it? It shouldn’t. Say the word out loud. Sex. What? No lightning bolts from on high? Now say, “sexuality.” Still no lightning bolts? Okay, now in a strong, proud voice, say “My sexuality!”

Don’t be embarrassed or modest everyone has one. It’s time to explore it, feel it, touch it and become intimate with your own sexuality.

Sexuality is not a static thing. It is not something that can be put in a box and taken out on special occasions. It is an on-going dynamic part of us all. It is the “you” that embraces the journey of your life. It is your passion (and, ironically, not only your sexual passion.) It is part and parcel of who you are as a complete, satisfied human being. Sexuality evolves from the inside and blooms as you feel more confident about who you are. Sexuality is a process. Sexuality is an expression of inner personal strength of we as women and knowing who we are and what we like.

And it always has been. That is, before a bunch of tired, old men imposed a patriarchal social structure on us because they were freaked out by the fact that we women had the potential to have multiple orgasms; that we could bleed without dying; and that we had within us the means for bringing forth all future generations. That’s right, that’s what we do. Impressed? Intimidated? It doesn’t matter that is what we can do.

It also seemed to freak them out that we had passions about life, learning, and about the world.

It freaked them out that we wanted to embrace the world. Well, that was a little much for those old men. Or, as it is written in one Old Testament story that resulted in the massacre of an entire community, they realized that we just might be attracted to “uncircumsized giants.”

Men’s tender, fragile egos and feelings aside, the embracing of our sexuality sounds pretty uplifting, empowering and amazing to me. It’s just a shame that society seems to be troubled by a woman’s embracement of her sexuality; of your embracement of your own sexuality. After all, your sexuality needn’t be a threat to anyone. Not society. Not your family. Not your husband or partner. It is a good thing. For you. For your partner or partners. It is not a hammer to beat someone with; it is an essential part of who you are.

It is you.

Don’t fear it. Embrace it.

And never, ever let anyone tell you it’s wrong. That has been going on for far, far too long to no one’s benefit at all.

Let’s get personal and start intimately talking about your very own sexual satisfaction.

Source by Dr. Allison Hopkins

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Best Offers for Microsoft Surface Pro X

Best Printer Offers

Best Gaming Hardware Discounts